Bibliographic 2.5: On January 1st
Happy New Year!
I kind of want to write about all the terrible parts of 2021, the large crushing things, the grind of minor indignities, collective and private griefs, general anxiety, the waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night feeling that something big is slowly being pulled away while we watch helplessly.
Sometimes I really, really, really want to surrender to that side of the story.
And then other times I want to write only about the wonderful parts of 2021 because a year is never completely devoid of pleasures! Large and small ecstasies, simple satisfying moments, some belly aching laughter, moments of relief and hope. Your phone buzzing with a text just when you need it. There are always sunsets, big moons, deep breaths taken by large bodies of water, first snows. But writing about that stuff doesn’t seem right either.
One of the biggest blessings in my life is that no matter how I’m feeling about the end of a year and the prospect of a new one, January 1st is also my daughter’s birthday. This year she’s turning 7, which is peak pure and sweet birthday excitement. So despite the state of the world or myself or whatever, I know I’ll start 2022 with a kid who will wake up and squeal “It’s my birthday!” She will bounce down the stairs and see balloons and presents, and even though Christmas was just a week ago, she’ll rip the wrapping paper as if she’s never had a present in her life. We’ll spend the day eating her favourite foods: pancakes with whipped cream, dumplings, cake. She will be happy.
My wish for you for this new year is that you have a day with similar energy, if not on January 1st then hopefully soon. Hopefully we’ll have more days like this in 2022 than in 2021, days to wake up with the conviction of guaranteed excitement and favourite foods on the horizon. We will be happy.
Stay safe and warm,
Teri